People Pleasing and Rejection Sensitivity in ADHD with Billy Roberts
People pleasing and rejection sensitivity are common struggles for adults with ADHD, especially in work and relationship settings where power dynamics and fear of disapproval are present.
In this episode of Adulting with ADHD, Sarah talks with licensed therapist Billy Roberts, owner of Focused Mind ADHD Counseling, about why people pleasing develops and how it connects to rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), trauma responses, and self worth.
Billy explains how many ADHD adults learn to manage fear of rejection by prioritizing others’ needs, avoiding conflict, and taking on too much responsibility. While this can feel protective in the moment, it often leads to burnout, shame, and feeling disconnected from your own goals and identity.
Together, they explore how people pleasing shows up in daily life, from over apologizing and over explaining to avoiding honesty and self advocacy. Billy also shares small, practical ways to begin shifting these patterns with more awareness and self trust.
In this episode, we talk about:
– Why people pleasing is common in adults with ADHD
– How rejection sensitive dysphoria influences behavior
– The “fawn response” and its role in relationships and work
– Overcommitment, over responsibility, and over accommodation
– Conflict avoidance and ADHD masking
– How shame can make honesty feel unsafe
Billy also shares practical strategies, including:
– How to recognize when you are people pleasing
– Ways to practice being more honest in low risk situations
– Why self awareness is the first step toward change
– How telling the truth builds confidence and agency
– Why learning to trust yourself supports healthier communication
If you often feel responsible for other people’s emotions or afraid to speak up at work or in relationships, this episode offers a compassionate and realistic starting point for understanding why — and how to begin changing it.
Resources mentioned:
Focused Mind ADHD Counseling
Billy Roberts’ upcoming book on people pleasing and ADHD
Adult ADHD therapy and coaching services
