A Radical Conversation for ADHD Women With Sari Solden

In this summer replay, I chat with ADHD pioneer Sari Solden. Sari’s book A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD has helped many women with ADHD to learn how to accept their neurodiversity and live with confidence. She specializes in psychotherapy and consultation for men and women with ADHD.  

Topics covered * ADHD * adult ADHD * periods * hormones * coping skills * mental health * radical acceptance * Sari Solden * executive dysfunction * psychology 

Mentioned in this episode: 
A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD (aff)
ADHD Women's Palooza
Sari Solden & Associates

Summary

In this episode of the Adulting with ADHD podcast, host Sarah interviews renowned psychotherapist and author Sari Solden about the concept of radical self-acceptance for women with ADHD. Solden explains that radical acceptance, rooted in Buddhist philosophy and therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), is about acknowledging the reality of one’s challenges without adding extra suffering through denial or self-criticism. She emphasizes that for women with ADHD, accepting their unique brain wiring is not resignation, but a path to reducing shame and living a more meaningful, empowered life.

The conversation delves into the intersection of hormones and ADHD, highlighting how hormonal changes can impact symptoms and the importance of understanding and normalizing these fluctuations. Solden shares her journey co-authoring "A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD" and discusses how internalized societal messages and stigma can distort self-perception for women with ADHD. She stresses the value of seeing oneself as a whole person, not just a collection of symptoms, and the importance of modeling self-acceptance for children.

They also touch on therapy approaches, the need for providers to treat clients as whole people rather than just focusing on symptoms, and the evolving understanding of neurodiversity. Solden encourages listeners to trust their instincts when seeking support, and to be intentional about life choices, especially in the context of post-pandemic transitions.

"Radical acceptance means just accepting that you have differences in your brain wiring and brain chemistry. That's not a description of who you are as a person and untangling those two things so that you can deal with that chronic difficulty as well as then go on to lead a fulfilling, meaningful life is really the basis of especially this latest work."

Topics Covered:

• Radical self-acceptance and its roots in mindfulness and ACT

• The impact of hormones on ADHD symptoms in women

• Internalized stigma and the importance of neurodiversity

• Therapy approaches: person-over-pathology and whole-person care

• Modeling self-acceptance for children

• Navigating post-pandemic transitions and intentional living

• Trusting your instincts when seeking therapy or support

Transcript

This is the Adulting with a ADHD podcast. Self-Empowerment for People with A DHD. Hi guys. Just wanted to pop in here and set up this episode for you a bit. This is a wonderful conversation I had with Siri Solden. Um, as most of you guys know, Siri is a psychotherapist who has counseled adults with A DHD for over 30 years.

She's the author of the books, women with Attention Deficit Disorder. Journeys through adulthood, and she's the co-author of A Radical Guide for Women with A DHD. In this episode, we'll be talking about radical self-acceptance for women with A DHD. I really hope you enjoyed as much as I did, and the first question I had here was, well, in your own words, what does it mean to practice radical self-acceptance when you're a woman with A DHD?

Right. Well, I guess it goes down to a deeper issue of what radical acceptance. Is, which isn't really only about what I have in the book, it's radical acceptance, I think goes back to just basic Buddhist principles. And then Marshall Lenihan uses it in, in dialectic behavioral therapy and especially in acceptance.

Um. Commitment therapy, which is a great Yes. Approach too. I think all these things and mindfulness. Mm-hmm. I think at one point they all started to coalesce, and I didn't take my approach from them, but at one point when there seemed to be a lot written about this, I recognized that my approach to women with executive function problems really aligns well with this.

And so then I started looking a little bit more into those principles. So. So I'll just talk about the deepest idea about radical acceptance, which I think can be applied very well to effective treatment for women with A DHD is this idea of the difference between pain and suffering. This is really the basis for radical acceptance that we all experience pain and adversity and difficulties in life.

Some of them are. Acute, like from a loss. Some of them are chronic and even chronic pain. There's a lot of painful things in life that are difficult to deal with. But they become suffering by what we do to ourselves because of the pain, the way we try to run away from the pain or say it's not fair or disavow ourselves from what's happening to the, uh, what So acceptance.

Radical acceptance means to. Accept the reality of painful things that happen to all of us and not add to it and create suffering by wishing it away and saying it's not fair and trying to avoid it and separate from it. Those are really hard concepts to get, but I think it applies to women with executive function difficulties because women with these kind of challenges have the mindset at the beginning that they're just gonna.

Get over this. Yeah. That they want to do whatever they can to fix themselves, that this isn't okay, that they have to push harder, push through, and that just creates more self hate and more shame and more avoidance of getting out there and leading a meaningful life. So I. Radical acceptance means just accepting that you have differences in your brain wiring and brain chemistry.

That's not a description of who you are as a person and untangling those two things so that you can deal with that chronic difficulty as well as then go on to lead a fulfilling, meaningful life is really the basis of especially this latest work. Yeah, that's interesting you say that 'cause, well you know this, that recently I've switched my episodes to focus more on hormones and so it seems like that's especially a time where you really have to accept reality and you can't control it.

Can you talk a little bit about, well, I mean you really just did. You just did, but you know, well, no, if I can expand on, I mean, you're right. Hormones is, is an actual thing that happens to your body and we have to be. Informed about it, first of all, so we can manage it as well as we can. I'm not, when I say acceptance, I don't mean resignation.

Giving up, giving in, you know, just, uh, being lost in pain. Actually, studies show that the opposite. When you have chronic pain, chronic struggles, the more you accept it, the less you'll feel. The terrible pain, that terrible suffering comes from just. Can't stand it. Get over it. It's not real. So hormones, uh, and A DHD, get the information.

Do what you can to modify your environment to help your brain do whatever you can in that area. But then if you understand what's happening, whether your hormones, whether it's, oh, this is happening premenstrually, this is happening perimenopause, then you don't, first of all, have to be scared that this means.

Awful things. Yeah, about having Alzheimer's doesn't mean you know that you know, you're not scared 'cause you get more depressed before your period. You have to understand it so that you can, you know, normalize it and expect it, prevent it, not plan so many things during that time. So really working with your brain.

That means accepting it and understanding it. So hormones are just another part of the whole piece. You kind of answered this before, but all these ideas were coalescing and that was how you came up with this book. Uh, was there any moment where you're just like, this is it. I have to, did, did something just spur you to write this book?

Well, there was two things. It was like, what happened when I started thinking about it this way, which was many years before that, and I think it was actually in a lecture about acceptance commitment therapy. When I heard. Uh, the approaches to chronic pain and chronic struggles described in the way that I just mentioned, and since then for years, I was really conceiving of this idea that you can accept your brain and work on that at a parallel track of understanding that is not all of who you are and not.

Defining yourself by those difficulties? Well, when I started working with Michelle Frank, yeah, Dr. Frank, who I met in 2013 at Detroit conference. At a conference, and she joined my practice. I think maybe. Working together so closely as therapists and as women with a DHD, we'd have plenty of time to to, to talk about what works and what doesn't.

And we were both experiencing the same thing as having these amazing women clients who we could see were just as whole women and with all these great strengths as well as understanding their great challenges as well as saying that whole picture meant also putting in. Whatever core traits that we were delighted to be a part of, you know, with these women, but yet they couldn't see themselves at all.

They were so distorted in their view of themselves. So we started, you know, I think the synergy of the two of us working together and talking about this and being women with A DHD made us excited to think about helping people. Move on to not just understanding their brains or even some of the shame that I had described earlier, or identity issues, but that we wanted them to move further into.

After being brave and understanding the dangers they've learned about differences, to learn to actually be entitled to lead full, meaningful, bold, bright lights to move more what we call the center of the stage and, and not have to stay in the background and let themselves explore how to be seen and heard.

And. Not feel so invisible and not hide and pretend and let themselves rise up and take power in their relationships and in their life. So I think it was the synergy of us working together that helped us with this book. Awesome. And while you were talking, it reminded me of something, it's a personal anecdote.

While I was working through your book, you had a part, I think it was the second chapter, and it was, you know, identifying the messages that you hear around you growing up. Yeah. And I don't remember a lot. Uh, I don't have a lot of memories of growing up. It's just a lot of it's just gone. And I do remember judging other people, like all these messages that were living in my head.

I remembered Brighton clearly, and of course I must have gotten them from somewhere, but it made me. It made me realize how much there is this internalized self-loathing that goes with it that I wasn't. Yeah, and that's what I, I wrote about in my first, some of that, in that book was referencing what I had written about in that first book so many years ago.

What I taught she messages, yes, new messages and yeah, and it's, it's really comes from women with a DHD, the first book because. You know, I conceived of this whole thing from the beginning, from my background in minority mental health because, and now it's all coming full circle. Yes. 'cause the way I like to talk about this is neurodiversity and it just comes from the larger idea of minorities or diversity because that's where we as minorities, any minority learns about, takes from the culture in general, absorbs what's valued and valuable.

And often people in these smaller groups. Compare themselves to that and then internalize these negative views. Yeah, and I think that's what happens to women with A DHD, even if they can't remember specifically, right? Oh, could their family say something negative? You learn it from every ad, every media thing, every.

You know, girlfriend, every institution you're involved with, you get these very subtle messages that are so deeply internalized. I mean, it's unbelievable that women in their twenties I work with now are still feeling the way women who grew up in the fifties Yeah. Feel about what their job should be and what happens if they're not good at it and the judging themselves by it.

Absolutely. Yeah. Um, so. That's been my biggest takeaway so far, but I'm only on chapter two, so there's a lot to, and that was another, well, chapter two in the beginning, you know, that's why we wrote this. Well, first of all, we talked about neurodiversity right off. Mm-hmm. The bat about radical acceptance really, of all brains.

Um, and then as therapists, I studied, you know, systems a lot and so a lot of what you understand about family systems is to the extent that you can. Feel that you can be different than other people. You can be healthier, that you can still be close to people and be different. And for women with A DHD grew up not understanding that it's okay to be different.

These wounds of feeling invisible and different, you know, stay with them for a long time. That's what. Drive so much of their pain later on. This idea that being different is bad and they learn that early on by how people in their family might not have put them down, but maybe talked about other people who are different or didn't value diversity in other ways.

Yeah. Or talked badly about themselves, which is something, um, terrible. Yeah. I had so many, I've had women clients say, I don't know why my daughter. You know, it, it has such low self-esteem. And then this woman would be calling herself a swab, right. Or saying bad things about herself. And so we, we learn, we as women with differences or difficults, can model to our children not just what it means to be perfect.

You don't have to pretend that you, you can say, show them what you do when you struggle and that everybody struggles. Yeah. I, I come across that a lot in my, my parenting material of the importance of that. And the importance of your children seeing you modeling, um, how you respond to imperfect situations and how important it is.

Exactly. Yeah. Because so many, uh, women say, oh, I hope my kids don't have this, or, I would feel bad if they have this, or How can I keep them from feeling this, you know, difficulty That's more of that radical acceptance, you know, causing all that other suffering versus saying, okay, I have these struggles.

This is what I do. And, you know, we all are different. We all have good, uh, you know, strengths. We all have difficulties, so help each other. Yeah. And, and I love how the movies that are coming out now for children. Also are embracing those ideas. 'cause that's kind of, children are learning a lot through the movies they're watching, so it's encouraging.

After all those, like you said, all the negative messages that you come across of it's. Yeah, I think it is. I am starting to see a difference now for the first time when I'm talking to a lot of young women are interviewing me now. A lot of young women must have all come at age at the same time. 'cause they're rediscovering this book.

And you know the first book. Yes. And I hear so many more younger people, probably because of the way younger millennials maybe embrace diversity more and accept differences more that. I've had many more young clients now say, you know what I, I told my supervisor that this is how I process information and I need help and or I told them that this is what I need and they helped me.

I mean, I never heard that. Now I'm hearing that more and more learning to just describe how you operate and what you need, and I never heard that before. I'm hearing that much more now. Yeah. Hi there, it's Sarah again. Hope you are enjoying the replay. I'm thrilled to announce a new tier for the show.

Friends of the show, this exclusive Patreon tier offers some sweet perks for those who want to show extra support and also get their name out there. To get started, visit patreon.com/adulting with adhd. Please note that summer restrictions apply. That is one thing I've really enjoyed about watching the younger generations come up is.

They're not afraid to talk about their feelings. That's something we never did growing up. It was like huge taboo. So yeah, it's, it's very interesting to see that happening. It's, yeah. I wanted to go back to what you were talking about with a CT 'cause I, I don't know if that's a common practice among therapists, but I remember hearing that a lot when I was going through therapy.

In the beginning was the, the A CT therapy. So among therapists. Is that something that's commonly, um, used? And also I'm pairing that with, excuse me, radical self-acceptance also? You can answer both. Yeah. I mean, I don't think it's common. I mean, it's funny. I mean there's a contemporary psychotherapy that has to do with the things I just mentioned that see things in that way, which have to do with the way I, my core principles that I teach of person over pathology and.

Self over symptoms and seeing a person whole. And I think that's one way of certain kinds of therapists understanding this more rooted in like Tara Brock who wrote, uh, radical Acceptance or, or Steven Hayes. But you know, there's other people who are much more cognitive oriented when it comes to Yeah. A DD and I think there's two different schools of thought.

It's funny, when I started teaching therapists, I, I think there's a lot of therapists who aren't a DD specialists who actually see. Clients, yes. In the way I'm describing. And I think that, and they say, yeah, of course. But when I talk to a lot of people who might describe themselves as a DHD specialists, they don't so much.

They've been taught more about, uh, yes, tools, strategies, academia. I think there's a long way to start thinking, okay, now we have to move back from that alone to help people. See the deep wounds and complexity, especially for women 'cause they weren't diagnosed early. And understand the effect on your sense of self and, and, you know, not treated just like some academic kind of organizational Yes.

Issue. Uh, it is all that, but the. Kind of person versus a separate kind of client versus a person who struggles, you know, with executive function has a and as a whole person instead of seeing 'em as a separate class of person. So we just really wanna work on that. Yeah. You perfectly described my, my experience.

I, I mean, my therapist didn't even know I had a DHD and um, you know, I had been misdiagnosed bipolar when I met her, but, but the way she had treated mm-hmm. Me, her treatments. Still was so effective, even though she had no idea I had a DHD because she was using the A CT principles and you know, all that.

And so it's just. You're lucky. And that's, and that's interesting. And it was just because when I tried to teach therapists, you know, who are gonna work with a DD, this kind of stuff, they said, well yeah, I know that. But, but, so it's easier, I think, to learn about A DHD once you have that general view of people.

It's like you had that experience of, versus you know, some people who just think they know about A DHD and they might know about the brain, but they don't know about human beings as much and we have to sort of, you know, they're not different kind of clients. They're a person who, not an a, d, D person.

Yeah. You know, you're a person, everybody's a person, and then you know, then we can see what your particular struggles are. Now knowing if you have a DHD and what kind of medication you need and how to help your brain. Is one route, but that's not all of you. Yeah, I agree. And you know, for, for anyone listening, if you, if you have a therapist like mine that doesn't really specialize in A DHD, um, I was able to supplement that with a DHD coaching.

Yes, I was just gonna say that, that, that's a great, great combination. That'd be nice. For everybody to know everything eventually. Yeah, and it seems that way for a lot of medical specialties, like I think we've talked about this in the past, but just like you have the OB GS and then you have the psychs and you just wish you could.

Nope. Right. You know, that's the whole thing about wholeness in, in the medical profession or, well, I talk about curing healing instead of curing and, uh, healing is when there's something that you just need to, um, really means to restore the wholeness, to help people have a sense of wellbeing, not just to get over who they are, not just, you know, throw some medicine at it.

Fix it. Fix it. I mean, you need to help your brain. Yeah. But in the, in the service of you as a human being to lead a great life and to make it easier for you, but not just as, as, as the whole package. And so it's like a Yeah, it's a different humanistic view of human beings. I guess you're lucky that you had found somebody who, who, uh, well maybe 'cause they didn't, they weren't trying to fix you of it.

Um, so we just wanna understand. Yeah, I'm becoming very sensitized. This idea of patho, how people pathologize themselves. You can just hear it. People who have strokes, people who have a million other things don't do that to themselves. But A DHD has a lot of stigma and misunderstanding and stereotypes that make, I.

Even the person themselves feel embarrassed. You know, I've had nuclear scientists, I've had people who are so smart and so competent, but then they're just laughing at themselves 'cause they can't do something simple. But you know, those people who can do those things can't do what they do. So it's easy to develop a narrative about yourself where you just are looking at your challenges and not all of yourself.

Absolutely. And to circle back, I am very lucky and I will tell you. I found that therapist a, a after office hours I was frantically calling somebody 'cause I finally realized I needed a therapist and, and it was just luck. She was the only one who answered after hours 'cause she's a professor and she works after hours.

And it was just sheer luck and I've been seeing her for more than a decade. Oh, wow. You are lucky. It is hard. Fine. That was another question you had. I mean, it's, and you know the answer to it now. Oh yeah. Really trust yourself and find somebody who with whom will work with you collaboratively and not from some kind of, you know, patronizing kind of character logic view of you that you just need to do this or do that.

Uh, you want somebody who, you know, who you feel. Sees you and values you and, and, and can. So you can internalize that. Mm-hmm. But, but someone who also doesn't minimize your difficulties. And sometimes someone will just focus on your strengths and that's great, but you also need somebody who can help you understand your real challenges and accept them like we're talking about, and work through them and get help for them.

Modify your life to fit it. But uh, so you want someone who sees all of you? Absolutely. And actually, I. I, I did have a situation. It was, it was a psychiatrist where, um, and in my case, I just knew it wasn't gonna work just, uh, by the things he was asking of me that I was unable to do for him. And it was more of a philosophical difference, I think.

And so like, can you tell me a little bit what you Yeah, I actually, so I. I now know I, I was a compulsive binge drinker for a time, and, um, he had sent me to treatment, um, to aa. Mm-hmm. And it just wasn't working. The, the stu the program wasn't working for me, even though I, I took some value out of it. But to sum up a long story short, I wasn't going through the steps.

Quickly enough for him, in my opinion, in my, um, in his opinion. Yeah. He had someone reporting to him that said I wasn't working the program. And it's a whole story. Wow, that's so shaming and pathing me of all things, you know, to now be judging how quickly doing this. I know. And I'm doing it wrong. Even though I was like earn, I was earnestly going, I was going to meetings every day and I was being really earnest and, but the good side to that story is I did find someone else.

Who took me as a whole person, and she's the one who ended up diagnosing me with a DHD. So there's a happy ending, but I followed my gut. I was like, this red flag, red flag, I gotta, yeah. Well that's what, that's important thing to follow your gut. Yeah. You know, when you have a DD you don't, and then you give over your idea.

Oh, you know your power to somebody else and you think, well, yeah, you wanna be open-minded. Maybe you don't know everything. But if, if you start feeling worse and worse about. These things and not if you're not doing treatment. Right. You know, getting quotations or one psychiatrist. Tell my client a long time ago, like, it's such a wrong message in so many ways.

This is years ago, but he said, so go home and. You have a DD take, go home, take this pill, and when you clean your house, you're cured. Whoa. I mean, you couldn't have more wrong statements in something, but, you know, at the beginning that's what we thought. You know, like if cleaning your house was the, it was a sign, you know, was the goal, and then you'd be cured and this pill was all you need.

O ouch. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't wanna be hurt by the treatment itself, in other words, is what you're saying A lot. What I agree with. Yeah. And, and to tack onto that. It's, it's just so much, it's so wonderful that we know so much more now than we, we did know. And it's just, I'm set up in a lot better place than, for example, my, um, parents' generation.

Like we're just set up so much, you know, better than they were. 'cause we have more information to work off of. No, it's really true. I'm just beginning to actually see a change in the effect, so on women with a DHD. So there must be a greater amount of providers who understand things in a different way.

And you know, and I see, I see Palooza just happened. Yeah. I mean there's a, there's a much more broader. Reach of professionals who understand people at a D different level. Now, you know, we had to move from a character in order to move from a character description of A DHD in the old days to a medical description to get it validated.

We, you know, that's a pathological description in of itself, just because we had to take it seriously. But now we're moving away from that, luckily. To less pathologizing now that we know it exists. And I really hope that we just get away from the word A DHD. It's become completely meaningless. And yes, I, I usually only say neurodiversity or executive function challenges now because it's more descriptive and for some reason A DHD is just a punchline in a lot of ways, and it's so unfair and not really descriptive of the nuances of everybody with just different kinds of.

Brain struggles. If we have two minutes. I'll say that I'm thinking of it now more 'cause I have a client who's got diabetes. Yeah. And it's really helpful in this radical acceptance to understand that, okay, she's got diabetes and it's very difficult to live with it. It's a chronic condition that requires a lot of management.

But she knows now when she's in a certain range, she knows like, okay, that's a red flag. I have to do this. And so we started talking about things like, okay, well we just. We're, this is a red flag. Now we, you know, we need a dopamine boost. Yes. Was, I think about it now, like, okay, what's happening? Why am I doing this?

What's the red flag here? And you know, what kind of dopamine boost do I need? And just thinking that more like, well, hormonally really like, yeah, this is outta whack now. And it's not about me. It's just I'm outta whack and what can I do? So I. Last night I was having a really hard time writing a report. I mean, it just doesn't, I usually use music, many different kinds of music and you know, from jazz to classical last night I put, for the first time in life I had to put on Led Zeppelin.

I love it, but I knew like, okay, I gotta have something to really, it was serious now. You were, it was serious. My brain was not turning on either, so, but I know. And then the other day I was messing up dates a whole bunch and telling people the wrong dates and I said, okay. That's a red flag that, 'cause I don't usually do that and it means that I'm too overloaded and then I have to really look at it.

So understanding I have to stay in this range. So people really looking at themselves like real, this is radical acceptance. This is real. And it's not fun, it's miserable, and whatever it is you can, it's not nonpainful. When I say radical acceptions, it just means we're not gonna add to it. Like, oh, this isn't fair.

I can't stand this. I gotta get over this. I can't live like this. That's when you add suffering to the actual. Pain of chronic difficulties. Yeah. And I, I think that's a lot why, why this works is because you're, you're not erasing that it's there. You're, you're, you're, you're going through it and accepting it instead of just completely, um, denying its existence.

Well, it doesn't work, you know, it's exhausting and it doesn't, the bottom line with radical acceptance is the other way. It doesn't work. It, I remember when I first started talking about radical acceptance at conferences. I had this slide, you know, about these laundry. Uh, and 'cause I had couples, they'd pay like for years to come to couples therapy.

Finally, they got a, a laundry service accepted. They like, no one's gonna do the laundry. Um, I, I have a laundry service. I'm gonna, I'm gonna normalize that right now. Um, you should, you know, and like for women, it's all culturally based. I. All the women, nobody would order groceries, you know, before the pandemic.

I know. Even though the same services are available now, it's culturally approved and everybody does it. Yes. I was doing it way before it was cool. Just for the record. I mean, it's the best thing. Yeah. My clients wouldn't, you know, so for the women who wouldn't, 'cause they felt shame. Oh, and my sister-in-law say, people were saying, you know, but now, yeah.

So, so much of this is culturally determined, the shame we feel. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah, I, I did come up with a few questions for a lightning round if you're up for it. Oh, that sounds like so much fun. I, I, I've never done one of those, so what's the point of it? I look like fun. Yeah. I've never done one either.

You're the first Uhoh. Well, I think I've seen it on TV with, I've seen it, but I don't really, I've never done it. I, I was thinking of Stephen Colbert. And I was giggling because I, I, I remember him doing that sometimes. Like he would just ask someone just some random questions, right? So I just googled lightning round and it's a thing.

Oh. So I, I just pulled a few out off of, and it's like what I, what I like, or what I resonate with or what I prefer or something. Yeah. And you just pick one and you don't even have to explain it. You just pick it. That's good. And then, okay. And then we chuckle, and then I ask you the other one. So, okay. Uh, but man, if I had known about that Zeppelin, I could have really.

Gone to town with that, because I know that feeling. I did that for me. I, I was in the garage this weekend, and for me it was Lady Gaga. It was like, okay. Oh yeah. The, the usual stuff isn't working. Like usually I do a podcast and it's like, all right, lady Gaga, here we go. You know? But knowing that, and knowing you have a re I guess having a repertoire of things that work for you is what's important, you know?

Okay. Yeah. This is fun. Yeah. Lightning round. Okay. Uhoh, here we go. Um, cats or dogs. Oh yeah, dogs. Okay. Um, outside of working hours, texting or talking texting? A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Oh yeah, I totally get that. Uh, favorite city in the world? Oh, this is an either or. Uh oh. Right. Yeah, you're right.

But, uh oh. Um, oh, okay. Uh, okay. Well, um, I can give you an either or. Hold on. Oh, gimme a couple. Either or. 'cause I have a few, you know, so, um, yeah, west Coast or East Coast. Ooh. Does that mean equal? Yeah. Okay. Equal. And also, you know, pre pandemic, post pandemic. It used to be New York City, but now I don't wanna go into the city right now, so it's harder.

Yeah. That, that's a good enough answer. Okay. Um, okay. This one was, this one was interesting. Would you rather be able to speak every language or talk to animals? Mm wow. Speak every language. I wouldn't wanna speak. Talk to animals. Yeah, animals are cool. Okay. I like animals. And then, um, just your, your favorite holiday or your favorite time of year.

Oh, well, I hate holidays really, because, I mean, yeah. No, it's terrible. Like, I, that's like a big admission. Like when Biden was talking the other day, I have to say, you know, I, I felt like. Oh, everything he was saying, we wanna get back to, I don't wanna do those things. So I felt really bad. Like, I don't, I hate barbecues, I hate,

so this is a big admission, you know, like, I don't wanna get back to that, but, um, yeah. Yeah. My favorite. Uh, what was the favorite holiday or what you could say, like time of year if you don't like holidays. Oh, time of year. I love, um, I love the fall. Same. Yeah. I love the fall. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Hands down Thanksgiving.

Um, as long as I don't have to give an event or go to one, I like. Yes. I like the seasons though. Yeah. Absolutely. I feel the same way. Um, it's an a, d, d thing, huh? Uh. It must be. Although my father just, he is antisocial, so he's just like, no, I don't want any. He's been in his element the whole time. Um, I know I did that whole workshop the other day.

Uh, the speech I gave her pandemic for the Yes, whatever the pan. Post pandemic transitions for women with A DHD because the hidden secret is that many introverted inattentive, A DHD felt a great deal of relief from all those social pressures. Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up. I was gonna tell the listeners about that.

The A DHD Women's Palooza, um, I do wanna catch that. So did you, did. Um, do the topic of transitioning after I did, I did a post pandemic transition, you know, because I don't want people to feel guilty or confused that a lot of, for a lot of women there's been, besides all the other terrible things and for everybody, for the segment of women, there was a lot of relief and I.

Lessening of pressure of all these logistics, coordination, picking up, driving off schedules, blah, blah, blah, uh, getting dressed, uh, giving events, going to events, all that stuff. Party planning, yes, so I'm giving a post. I don't know when this is gonna thing, but I decided to give a one day anyway, post pandemic.

Transition workshop for us to get together and talk about it, you know. Nice, nice. So, uh, it's a secret that some women have, like, I don't want it, or they're afraid or they don't really wanna get back out there fully. So yeah, you should take away what's important to you after this year and what you don't wanna go back to, and.

Be intentional about it. Love it. So where can the listeners, um, keep in touch with you and hear about things like this workshop? Okay, well, I, they can go to, they can always email me. It's siri@sirisold.com. Okay. Or they can come to siri sold.com, the website. Okay. Or I try to post things@adhdradicalguide.com.

That's our blog. Yeah, you can write to me about any of these things. Okay. Awesome. Awesome. Well, thank you Sarah, so much. It was a pleasure to have you. Oh, that was so much fun, Sarah. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Bye bye-bye. I've always wondered if weighted blankets could help me with anxiety. During the pandemic.

It was the perfect opportunity to find out. Ever since the first night, I have slept with my weighted blanket. I have had very relaxing sleep. Don't deal with insomnia nearly as often and at point where I don't want to sleep without it. It is, it is that awesome to find out which blanket I use. It's just so comfortable and so beautiful.

Go to adulting with adhd.com/mosaic and you'll see my favorite one and there's many, many others to choose from.